I'm trying to find my way home

I'm easily distracted by the images that I see and it makes my skin crawl and my blood boil. It's cold outside but the air revitalizes my tired lungs. I'm trying to find a meaning to all of this - I'm at my wit's end. I used to know how to live my life, and by that I mean the way to conceive of my place in this world and create some sort of meaningful narrative by which to live my life. And now, I'm spiralling out of control in slow motion. I'm losing my way, if I haven't lost it completely already. My sense of self has become fragmented, partly because of the unlucky vicissitudes of my life, and partly because of my own decisions (and indecisions). If there is anyone to blame at the heart of all this, it is me.